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The problem

If the surviving parent's new spouse adopts the child, the child receives a new birth certificate without the deceased biological parent's name, and no law requires that the child ever be told who that parent was. Essentially, this forces biological parents to become donors or surrogates against their will.

The solution

The deceased biological parent's name stays on the child's birth certificate, even after an adoption, and the child receives age-appropriate therapy to learn about and grieve that biological parent. Just as donors may be allowed to remain anonymous, a parent should be able to ensure that their child knows who they were.

The problem

A parent has no way to ensure that their child will continue to see their side of the family if the parent dies or is otherwise removed from the child's life. There is currently no measure in place to protect the child from being taught, or coming to believe, negative and false information about that parent and their family, which can lead a child to think badly of half of who they are.

The solution

A biological parent may request that their family members, whom they may name, have a guaranteed minimum schedule of contact with the child, consisting of family systems therapy and supervised visits adjusted to the child's needs by a qualified family systems therapist. The surviving parent decides anything beyond that. Family systems therapy would take the form of structured reintegration therapy, starting before any problems of alienation begin.

The problem

After a biological parent dies, the child's doctors and therapists usually hear from only one side of the child's family. By contrast, when both biological parents are present in the child's life, both are able to provide information.

The solution

A biological parent in the child's life may appoint a person who, after the parent's death, will be informed of the child's significant health decisions and may share relevant information about the child with the child's health care providers. This prevents misinformation from being given to health care professionals. It also allows these children to be treated by health care professionals with the same precautions and protocols that are followed when both biological parents are present in the child's life, to try to prevent medical child abuse from occurring.

The problem

When living parents dispute custody, courts consider whether one parent has kept the child from the other without a substantiated reason. There is no equivalent protection for the family of a parent who has died, even though keeping a child from that family risks cutting the child off from, and alienating the child from, the parent who died.

The solution

Courts should give the same weight to interference with a child's relationship with a deceased biological parent's family, including through knowingly false allegations of abuse, as they give to interference between living parents.